Types of Gay Men
Not so long back two of my closest pals Rags and Ron took a vacation. That was possibly the most pleasurable time we three have ever spent together. We took a short trip together, went mad shopping and not to forget the New Year’s party that we were at. At several instances we discussed friends and acquaintances that we knew. This got me thinking and I concluded the influence of animal behaviour or the ‘animal within us’
After little research I came up with the following types. Now, I strongly believe we all belong to an animal type. The way we function, think, behave, and react is due to the supremacy of that animal’s behavioural patterns in our lives
Lets see some of the types of gay men present today along with their counterparts from the animal kingdom.
1) The Peacock
Good looking and full of pride. Highly egoistic and often perceived to be emotional less because of the flat face they wear all the time. Have very high morals. They believe in giving enough space to their partners and expect utmost honesty in return. They have complete faith in you and believe in everything you say; try to fool around and you are nailed.
2) The Hyena
Always ready for some fun and ready to get their pray. Smooth talker; you’ll often see them exchanging phone numbers with good looking guys in the office corridor and even before you wake up next morning they would have already done the ‘deed’ with their new pray. These guys believe in policy of ‘any one will do’. Have much larger sexual repertoire than their colleagues of animal kingdom. Highly promiscuous and can sleep with anyone.
3) The Antelope
They are one of the cutest and most selfless being you’ll see around. Honest, firm believer of their set of values, timid, intelligent, polite and generally monogamous. They love to get indulged in luxuries. They appreciate well articulate, sophisticated, chivalrous people. Once they are in love with you then all your worries are theirs.
4) The Guinea Pig
Almighty bless you if you are seeing a guinea pig. These type of guys are often fall under ‘mamma’s boy’ category. They will listen to her come whatever may, and your monster-in-law will not let him get close to you. These guys are fickle minded and spineless. They may love you but will never say. However they do expect everyone around them to love them and show it as well, which is because of the insecurity they suffer from.
5) The Platypus
It’s not hard to find platypus around you. This specie is most widely available and can be found at any of social spots. Often loud mouth, psychoanalytical and besides appearances (which aren’t pleasing either) they love to criticize anything and everything. Have their chatoyant thoughts which they are never mortified to express, without having to examine themselves. Often swish and highly emasculate. Can be seen dressed in pink t-shirt and golden shoes. Ask them what is ‘mimosa’? And they can very well write a book on it. They think no end to themselves and would often get involved in name dropping. An example: “I went on a date with Leo when I was in Italy… you know Leo aaree ‘Leonardo DiCaprio’ baba … don’t tell me you don’t know who he is. That was the most beautiful evening I ever spent…by the sea in Barcelona” (Somebody please help them with the geography Italy, Barcelona and beach all together when they are right next to Leonardo DiCaprio)
6) The Orangutan
One of my friend is an orangutan. This type of guys are often commitment types, love mischief, obedient towards their partner, pokerface. ‘Well read, well bread’ suites them and they are not shy to ‘experiment’ at times. You’d never know when they did what they did and they know to keep secrets well. Don’t be amazed if they have slept with your boyfriend and still hangout around you as if nothing happened.
7) The Horse
Enthusiastic and raring to go for new ideas, opportunist, can easily leave you for someone better looking anytime. You can not afford to look like an old hag if you are in a relationship with them. If you have a horse living with you, then you better be careful and keep your eyes open. Please start taking care of yourself and join yoga, gym or anything else that you can. Horses are good dancers, so do consider taking up Latin ballroom classes.
8) The Dog
This specie is on the verge of extinction. As this type of guys are most desired. They are the most committed, monogamous, humble creatures and won’t shy away from long term relationships. Have good taste in arts and literature. PDA is definitely on, don’t shy away just enjoy the moment. You are lucky if you have a dog. Just a word of caution, they expect same in return from you.
9) The Snail
Snails are slow steady, old fashioned, like to take their own time before they commit to you and at the same time they are biggest emotional fools. Always get hurt in the bargain. They do know how to be happy alone. Snails are good painters, cooks and fields such as yoga, meditation, tarot attract them. Most petite and humble beings. They have possibly never hurt anyone (emotionally or physically) in their lives. Just take care of them.
10) The Wolf
Wolves are also lonesome, yet happy, always looking for that someone special. But in their endless search they don’t realize that they have missed many beautiful chances. These guys are perfectionists and enjoy spending quality time at most exotic, far reached places. It’s very easy to be over looked by a wolf. You need to know how to make that lasting impression which will keep them glued to you. Just an advice, BE YOURSELF.
11) The Owl
Intellectual and fragile they should wear a tag around them “handle with care” its very easy to please them, it isn’t hard to displease them either. Play your card safe, and be clear with words. Words matter to them a lot and one wrong choice can cost you an hour of explanation. They do take time to fall in love, so until they are deeply in love with you; ‘watch your words’.
12) The Camels
Camels will accept you just as you are. Most camels have seen a lot of hardship in their lives, will never ask for much and hardly ever get angry but when they do then may God bless you. Extremely low maintenance, you let things be just as they are and they will be happy. They dislike too much of change.
13) The Snake
Snakes are protectors. Remember seeing those under nourished, skimpy clad women at the pubs with ‘hulks’ around them, those guys are absolute snakes. They will be by your side come whatever may, venomous for others who try to explore their territory (you). Get use to possessiveness. These types are wild in bed, so have fun and enjoy.
14) The Weaver
Workaholics who are often misunderstood to be careless and less loving. They try hard to build a home and have a family with the one they love. These guys are not very expressive, often short of words and do not believe in expressing their love. They would rather do things to demonstrate it. If you are with them, please have patience and things will be fine. Just give them time.
15) The Koala
These creatures are too stuck in their splendiferous yesteryears and they love it immensely. It’s foolish to expect them to be out of their green glorious past. This doesn’t mean they don’t want you. When it comes to mushy talks and getting close to someone; it will be instant noodles. But how much ever you try, you’ll always be compared with their ex. Will often pass comments to make you feel miserable with guilt. Mind you these comments will not be directed to you. They will be disused creations of self pity. Example: “I know I don’t deserve you, you are too good for me. Only Dick (their so called ex) could understand me so well, I guess I just have to live with it. I have no complaints from you”
16) The Cestoda
Cestoda is none other than our friendly parasite who will live on you. They suck you financially, emotionally, mentally, sexually and if possible in any other manner. They just want to live off someone and if it is someone who can love them as well. Ahh What can be better? Most disgusting types. The problem is, you won’t realize that you are living with a parasite until you go through something major. These guys are habituated to getting it easy. Just kick them out of your lives.
There could be combinations of these animals as well, that is the blends of these personality types. Analyse your man and share with your friends.
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